I’ve found a few minutes to unfurl my new glider and have a look at it.
Disappointingly I have to report that, apart from the fact that it seems to have lines made out of something considerably thinner than a pair of Paris Hilton’s g-strings, it looks exactly like the old one.
Miffed at this discovery I folded it all up again only to find that I’d put the whole left hand side exactly above the piece of ground where we have our barbeques. The glider is white, of course, and the muck from the BBQ is a mixture of yellow burger fat mixed with powdered charcoal. It was also now all over the leading edge of the wing. Lovely.
Three hours, two sponges, a bottle of hand cleaning soap and more bad language than a meeting of the Profanity Club later and I’d managed to make the resulting mess merely ‘awful’ rather than ‘disastrous’. Of course the gloop had soaked in nicely and there was no removing it.
I’ve not worked out how to tell Dav at Ozone that the most advanced and high performance glider he’s ever made of which only one precious example exists in the whole world now looks like an oily rag and smells like a cheap cheeseburger. At least it’s only on one side, I suppose. And how am I going to get my competition numbers to stick to what now looks like high-tech grease-proof paper? Bollocks…
So, if you see any photos taken at the World’s and there’s a glider flying that looks a bit like an inflatable Dalmatian Dog don’t worry – It’s me. Perhaps I’ll pin a tail onto the back of my harness and paint a large black nose and some floppy ears on my crash helmet to complete the illusion. I can woof at people in thermals and pee against trees at take off. And there will almost certainly be a way of baiting the po-faced Swiss and French teams with my outfit as well. The idea’s growing on me…
Dalmatian Dog Boy. The new British Team Mascot…
Mark H
