I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever get the hang of this paraglider racing malarkey.
Today was a typical example of the highs and lows you experience on a World Championship task which ended in a sort of a high – getting to goal – and a sort of low – doing it too slowly.
A roundup of my day:-
Low No. 1 – After another ill-advised trip to the taco stalls and far too much chilli sauce I was locked in the Gent’s just at the time that the queue for launch got very, very long and the conditions got difficult and inconsistent meaning the very long queue was also moving very slowly.
High No. 1 – Standing in the equatorial sunshine togged up for high altitude travel and with 30 kilos of kit hanging off your body can make your temper quite short, especially as you don’t want to be late for the race start. Joakim Johansson lightens the mood when he tells us in his strong and deadpan Scandinavian accent that the ‘Swedish Team will not be scoring well today as my team mate is already hanging from a tree on the side of El Penon before I have even left the ground.’ Chuckles all round.
Low No. 2 – After finally taking off with only 23 minutes to go before the start the previoulsy boisterous and active air seems to have dozed off. Nothing is bloody working and I can’t get high. This eventually means I have to glide in low to the aptly named ‘Crazy Thermal’ to get my arse royally tanned by this snakey and unpleasant column of lifting air. The ‘Swear-O-Meter’ is off the clock (unlike the vario which still refuses to go nuclear) and the upshot of all this messing about is that I miss the start and am not only getting my arse kicked but have to watch the entire field buggering off in a cloud of dust 500 metres above my head with little prospect of catching up.
High No. 2 – After getting tired of ‘Let’s Play Turning Our Gliders Inside Out’ I finally set off, Swear-O-Meter still set firmly at maximum and take the first turnpoints and climbs. I’m now firmly at the back but as I’m about to go on glide I notice the leaders have pretty much gone the wrong way! Excellent – they’ve all ‘gaggle dragged’ each other to the wrong mountain and I can go in a straight line towards the turnpoint by leap-frogging gliders below me. Nice!
Low No. 3 – The air is miserably bouncy today meaning I’m unhappy and uncomfortable. I’m not a particularly brave pilot and I freely admit to not much liking gliding fast in ‘fizzy’ air and wind shear. The language is still not particularly pleasant inside my crash helmet.
High No. 3 – At the first turnpoint my ‘Leapfrog technique’ (otherwise known as pimping) has put me right at the front. Lovely Jubbly! On the glide to the second turnpoint halfway through the task I am joined by Andy Aebi (currently leading the comp) and other Superstar Pilots. I’m feeling what’s known as ‘well chuffed’ with myself for catching up and allow myself a small smug grin.
Low No. 4 – On glide with the lead pack Jamie Messenger, my team mate, suddenly falls out of the sky for no reason at all. It’s like one of those comedy moments when a trapdoor opens beneath somebody or they fall off a bar stool. One second he’s in front of me and the next he’s just gone. Peering gingerly over the edge of my harness I can see that he’s got it all under control 100 metres lower down but my ability to glide quickly in the choppy air has fallen faster than Jamie did.
High No. 4 – A deft move at the far turnpoint means we find the first real thermal to break the inversion and we pop out of it at 3500m and miles above the rest of the field. World domination awaits as we commence gliding towards goal.
Low No. 5 – ‘Not so fast!’ says the Wind and Thermal God as I first miss an important thermal because I get it into my head that it’s 200 metres in front of where everyone else is climbing (it wasn’t) and that the day is so good that even if I’m wrong there’ll be another one on the glide (wrong again) and that the wind isn’t strong anyway (it was a gale low down). This means on the important glide back to take off I end up just clearing an unlandable gulley and some power lines whilst watching the rest of the field who’s thermal I’d ignored get an incredibly lifty line and all spec out. 50 metres off the ground I can hear the Mexican children shouting up and even their dog barking as they run from one side of the field to the other trying to predict where I’ll land.
High No. 5 – Setting up to land there’s that feeling like someone’s about to set an earthquake off underneath you and then BANG! The thermal finds me and we’re off again in a rough and snotty climb. Thoughts of the ribbing I will get from my team mates if I bomb out start to recede a little
Low No 6 – By the time I’ve regained enough height to think about moving on the whole rest of the field are gone. For f*ck’s sake!
High No. 6 – After getting stuck almost every day at the Penon in the afternoon I finally make a good decision and connect straight away with the important last thermal before goal and shoot up to 3700m
Low No 7 – Gliding for goal I realise I’ve programmed the glide computer wrong and that I didn’t need to climb anywhere near as high as I have done to make goal – I’ve wasted loads of time.
High No. 7 – Massive sink near the final turnpoint puts lots of other pilots into what looks like quite a marginal position to make goal from. ‘Lucky I programmed that glide computer wrong and took all that extra height in the last thermal’ I congratulate myself.
Low No. 8 – I’m desperately trying to get some speed into the glider but the air is unsettled and I keep having to let off the bar. Finally I ‘have a word with myself’ and decide that the glider must be giving me more information than I’m used to and that it will stay open through a lot rougher air than I think it will. I’m almost immediately rewarded by a full frontal blow-out.
High No. 8 – After getting control of the glider again I can see that I’m fairly comfortably in goal which is lucky as it is over a large and very wet looking lake. A few minutes later I arrive – Hurrah!
Low No. 9 – Looking at the goal there are loads of gliders already there. Curses! Even worse when I arrive all my team mates are already there which means I’m last.
High No. 9 – All my team mates are already here! Great for the team score against the other nations…
Low No. 10 – When the scores come out I won’t believe how slow I’ve flown and will spend the rest of the evening brooding about where it went wrong.
High No. 10 – When the scores come out I won’t believe how few points the people who landed at the point where I nearly did scored and I’ll spend all evening thinking about how well I did to climb out from so low and then make goal.
And so on, and so on…
And we have to deal with all this emotion every day. I shall need a holiday to recover when we’ve finished.
Mark H
Making new friends at take off
Not the friendliest glide to do at low altitude. Goal is the small beach.
